Aleksa Joanna - Birth Story

Glory to God for entrusting us with this little miracle.  We are overwhelmed with joy...

Where to begin… The last few weeks I’ve been busy finishing up photo sessions, still unpacking from our August move into our townhouse and trying to get things organized before the birth.  The to-do list was long and I was getting more and more tired, making the accomplishments slow.  We hadn’t finished the nursery, we hadn’t installed the car seat or even packed for the hospital. 

At 37 weeks, on November 19^th, we had our last photo session of the season.  Walked around Middleburg a lot that afternoon and I was exhausted.  I had been having lots of low pain and pressure  (for days I told John she was pressing on my cervix and I felt like her head was coming out!) After the session, John and I went to Olive Garden for dinner, knowing we might not get another date night for a while.  John thought we should go home since it had been a long day, but I really wanted to run by Babies R Us to pick up the list of necessities still on our registry.  More walking but we were able to finish and get most of what was needed for her to arrive in the next three weeks.  We got home and  both rushed around, cleaning and organizing before Bob (John’s Dad) arrived for a visit.  He arrived around midnight from NC, we chatted for a while then went to bed.

The next morning, I woke up not feeling well.  Just exhausted from the day before and slightly feeling sick.  So I stayed home to rest while John and Bob went to CrossCurrent for church.  That afternoon John and Bob decided to go hiking at Great Falls (they were planning to go on Monday but it was calling for rain).  I joked with John to keep his phone on him in case I went into labor.  He had a great time with his dad and they were able to find the same spot where his mom had been rappelling years before.  He had no idea he was about to become a Daddy!

While they were gone, I had my first contraction around 4:30pm.  Lasted a minute and went away.  Another one came around 6:15 pm. On the way home they stopped by Thai by Thai to bring home a yummy dinner (tropical fried rice!) and we spent the evening watching the Food Network.  Around 7:30pm I had my third contraction and after this point, contractions were steadily 20 mins apart.  I started writing the times down on a napkin as we continued to watch tv and casually mentioned it to John. He was nervous and told her to stay in there. :o)  He had been working a lot to finish up a project in November in order to take off most of December for her arrival, and he wasn't finished with the project yet!  I laughed and told him she was going to come on her own schedule.

We tried to go to bed that night but I couldn’t sleep.  Partly because of the contractions and partly because of my mind racing, “Could this be it?”  So I started packing.  Poor Bob is a light sleeper so I know I kept him awake as I putsied around the nursery, trying to pack what we needed for the hospital.  I let John sleep since I knew one of us should be getting rest!  So I quietly packed and brought stuff downstairs…  just in case.  Throughout the night contractions got closer together, down to 8 mins apart.

On Monday, the 21^st, I tried to lay down for a nap, knowing that if this was real labor, I certainly needed to get some sleep.  I was able to sleep for about 3 hours (somehow through the contractions!) But when I woke up, they were further apart and had jumped to being between 12 – 14 mins apart!  So we continued throughout the day, trying to get things done, installing the car seat and texting continuously with Aunt Meggie and Oma.  John, Bob and I went for a walk in the afternoon around the neighborhood and lake, trying to get things moving!  My doula, Amy, mentioned that Chinese food might get things moving so we ordered from Great China for dinner.  After eating, I took a long hot bath.  Then I chatted with lots of friends on facebook as to the pros and cons of taking castor oil.  I decided against it after hearing how rough it is on the stomach.

I talked with John’s sister Beth and she said that it could still be false labor. "Really??? After 25 hours?!?!"  After laboring all day, I was ready to meet my sweet baby!  The thought of the contractions stopping and then having to redo all the work I had done, was so discouraging!  Beth said we should go into the hospital to be monitored since they could tell me if the contractions were real or not.

So we went into the hospital around 9pm to get checked and confirm if it was real. The nurse even said it was false since I was still 10 mins apart and then when she checked me she was shocked.   I was 4 cm dilated, 80% effaced, and she said it was real!  We decided we wanted to go back home to labor some more so we headed back home around 11pm.  We tried to watch some tv and rest but the nurses check definitely triggered something (she was rough!) because the contractions soon became closer together (8 mins, then 7 mins apart) and much more intense.  The thought of sleeping through these contractions was completely pointless.  So I just kept trying to get into different positions, but it hurt to move. 

As things got more intense, I knew I didn’t want to be walking down the steps, with the contractions getting closer.  At 2:53am, I called Amy (our doula) and she rushed over to meet us at the house.  We got to the hospital around 3:30am, the nurse confirmed I was now 6 cm and 90% effaced and they admitted me to my labor and delivery room.  As soon as we walked in, Amy and I looked at each other, both realizing that we were in the same room that Laura had been in, while giving birth to Adelaide! 

We got settled and the nurse asked me a lot of questions in between contractions.  As the hours went on, I tried to labor in different positions; leaning over the birthing ball, getting on my hands and knees on the bed, sitting, laying, etc.  I think I tried just about everything!  Also, I had a super awful cold / congestion so I literally couldn't breathe through the contractions which just made it more miserable. I would try to sit down in between contractions but it hurt so badly to stand back up or move once the next contraction started.  And I was exhausted!  The only position I liked was slow dancing with John.  I draped my arms around his shoulders and we swayed back and forth, with him holding up my weight.

Around 7:00am the contractions jumped from 5 mins apart, to being pretty consistent, with no break in between.  John and Amy were doing everything they could to help me relax.  John would massage my feet while Amy massaged my shoulders with grapefruit lotion.  They’d both press on my back and hips during contractions to try to relieve some of the pressure.  Amy also used a sock that was filled with rice and heated up, as a heating pad for my back….  The nurses kept saying that my water was still intact and that they might have to break it, which would make the contractions more intense.  I remember being really scared about this since I couldn’t imagine them getting more intense. 

Close to 8:00am they suggested I get into the labor tub.  I almost objected because the contractions were continuous and I was afraid it would be too difficult to get back out of the tub.  I was so glad I did, the hot water felt wonderful and was so relaxing, even among the pain.  I didn’t realize this at the time, but they told me later than I even fell asleep for about 15 mins in the tub, and so did John!   We were both so tired.   After about 45 mins, I got out of the tub because we thought my water might have broken.  Amy and John helped lift me out of the tub and get me into the hospital gown I brought. 

I soon felt like I had to push and made my way to the bed.  I told John that I didn’t think I could do this anymore.  The nurses went to get Dr. Foster.  He checked me, saying I was 9 cm but still had some cervical lip in the way, and that I need to wait another 30 mins.  After about 20 mins, I really felt like I had to push.  Like it was a reflex that I couldn’t stop.  They went to get Dr. Foster and he said it was fine for me to start pushing. 

I remember being scared of how long it might take.  I kept asking John and the nurses how long the pushing would take.  I was just so completely exhausted.  They asked if I wanted a mirror to watch, which I was ok with.  I remember being slightly discouraged by the mirror.  Everyone kept saying, “She’s so close!  She’s almost here!” but since I could only see the mirror in between contractions, I couldn’t see anything!  (John said the progress was like two steps forward, one step back).  But all I kept thinking is, “She’s not almost here!  I still have to push a huge head through me!”  And thinking it would take forever. 

The pressure was something I can't describe. I truly felt like my body was going to split open.  And the "ring of fire" that women talk about, is unfortunately very true.  After 45 mins of pushing, Dr. Foster decided to give me a partial episiotomy since it was obvious my body wasn't stretching enough for her.  As soon as he cut (I was already in so much pain, I didn't even know he had cut), her head was able to come out.  Dr. Foster then yelled for me not to push.  I honestly didn't realize what was going on, my body was pushing regardless and I just felt so delusional.  The cord was wrapped around her neck twice, so he quickly clamped and cut the cord so her body could then come out.  John said later that he was shocked at how quickly this happened. 

At 10:13am on November 22nd, after 39 hours of labor, our little Aleksa was finally here!  Dr. Foster lifted her onto me.  She was so beautiful and perfect!  The nurses took her to clean her up, weigh and measure, do her Apgar score, etc.  Our tiny baby was 5 lb 14.5 oz and 18.5 inches long; with long fingers and toes, the sweetest little lips and cutest button nose.

John was able to cut the umbilical cord again a little closer to the clamp and he followed the nurses who gave her her first bath.  Amy and Lori stayed with me until they returned (I was busy shaking like a crazy woman and being stitched up) and then I attempted to nurse her.  After about two hours, they moved us to the post-partum room and we began having some visitors.  John dad (Aleksa's Pappy) who was supposed to go back home that morning, was able to meet his new granddaughter right before he had to leave town.  My parents (Aleksa's Oma & Opa) also quickly drove up and loved spending several hours with us, meeting their first grandchild.

I was so thankful that we were able to accomplish so many items from our birth plan and have the safe, natural birth that we wanted for our baby.  It was definitely long and difficult, but so worth it.  The only part that makes me sad, is how quickly they took her from me to do all the little procedures.  I really wanted to have awhile to bond with our new little family, but I was too delusional to have the strength to speak up about it.  But I am thankful.  God had granted our prayer, she was here and safe and healthy.

I've attached some of the photos below, from the birth. Some may think that's weird to have a photographer in the L&D room but I treasure these photos!  Lori Moore did an amazing job and I could not be more grateful that she was there to capture these moments for us!  www.lorimoorephoto.com

Expecting...

When we learned we were pregnant, we were so excited and hopeful for the months to come.  While the pregnancy was fairly easy (never got any morning sickness), we had no idea that life was about to get more difficult in general.  I don't have time to type out all the details but here's a summary of our chaotic few months...

The most exciting thing in April was at 6 weeks pregnant when we had our first sonogram.  We got to see our little jellybean and even hear her precious strong heartbeat!

We were living in Gainesville and learned from our landlords that they were selling the townhome.  We had to move.  So for the next month we endured as realtors traipsed through our home (many times, unannounced) with families to look at the house.  So annoying.

In May, we decided to move into another rental.  We moved to a small townhome in Sterling and immediately didn't feel right.  They had just painted the entire place and within a few days, as soon as the paint dried, there was a smell.  An awful smell that wouldn't go away and we began to feel sick whenever we were home for long.  When I left one day to run some errands, two neighbors stopped me to explain that the property manager was super shady and the last family had to move out because of mold.  There had been extensive water damage to the front of the unit (the room that was going to be the nursery!!) and the property manager refused to acknowledge or fix it.  So, very long story short, we had to get a mold inspector to prove our case, pay extra rent to get out of the lease, and move out, two weeks after we had moved in. 

We found an amazing realtor and began the process of trying to buy a townhouse.  While we were waiting to close, God completely provided and allowed us to stay with two sets of friends.  So with our stuff in storage, we lived out of suitcases for the entire summer.  After five homes falling through, (various reasons:  owner refusing to fix big items, owners greatly overpricing and the appraisals coming back $42K under price and not wanting to live next to a sex offender, etc)  lots of stress and a very patient realtor; we FINALLY found our home and closed at the end of August.  For a total of five moves in three months!

June was just full of house hunting and houses falling through.  July was a mix of excitement and sadness.  On July 5th, we had an early sonogram appointment and learned we were having a little girl!!  We were super excited (we were kinda hoping for a girl!)  We very quickly decided on the name Aleksa Joanna.  Aleksa after my mom (original maiden name Oleksa) and Joanna after John's mom, Jo Ann.  For our anniversary on the 17th, we went back to Iris Inn, then to Barren Ridge to have some sparkling cider, watch the sunset and take some photos for our gender announcement.  Our friends, Patrick & Katy met us there to take photos & video.  So much fun!

Beginning in June, John's mom, (Aleksa's Mammaw) began to get sicker from stage four colon cancer.  She was diagnosed in April 2009, and did really well for 2 years.  Tons of prayers, multiple surgeries and lots of chemo.  She was always in really high spirits and you honestly would never know she had stage four cancer!  

In July we went to NC to be with her and the family.  When we arrived, Jo was in the hospital.  The first night, she was really silly from the morphine.  At one point she was insisting that she needed to shave her chin and asked the nurse if she could see all of the hair there. The nurse replied, "Uh... no."  Then Jo said she had so much hair on her chin that she was going to join the circus as the bearded lady, and that her act would be singing, "Ana Gadda da Vida, baby! Pow! Pow!"  Complete with pyrotechnics at the end and fireworks motions with her hands.  :o)  She also talked about the morphine smelling like purple.  

We were able to tell her that we were having a girl and that the middle name would be in honor of her.  She was thrilled but surprised since she felt like we might be having a boy.  The most special thing is that she read a recordable storybook for Aleksa and we were able to get video as she read it. Which we were so glad we did because of her comments in between the recordings!  

Family (her sisters and dad, Pappaw) came in from Ohio to see her and essentially say goodbye.  We even had a "Christmas in July" celebration at the hospital... just in case.  There were some great moments; laughing together and having a hospital "spa day" of painting her nails and doing her hair.  Also some sad moments where she would cry and say this was all happening too fast.  We really didn't know what to expect since she would get sick and then seem to improve just as quickly.  She even called from the hospital to make sure we recorded her favorite tv show for her.  We had to record the entire series cause she was certain she'd be here to see all of it!  :o)

After a few days, she was released home and we spent the next few weeks taking care of her.  She is such an amazing, strong woman!  While the hospital had called in Hospice to come care for her at the house a few days a week, we kept seeing her improve and get better and better.  She couldn't wait to start doing things on her own.  And after a few days, she was plowing through the house on her walker, to sit in her recliner to keep working on the cross-stitch for Aleksa. She talked a lot about how she just had to be here to meet our sweet baby.  

There were nights where we would crowd in her room; John would play guitar, Leigh would rub lotion on her Mammaw's feet and we would all just talk and laugh and pray together.  One particular night she started talking about death and her wishes.  She explained how she had already called different funeral homes to do some "comparison shopping."  She also told Bob to look in the closet for the outfit she bought him to wear to her memorial service.  We all started laughing and asked why on earth she was planning ahead and buying him an outfit for her memorial.  She replied, "Because no grieving man is going to go shopping!"  She always kept her sense of humor  :o)  

Then there were other nights where she just prayed and cried with her kids, and several times that she saw angels.   She saw her mother, Beth's son and a man in her hospital room who said it was time to go.  She said no, that it was too soon.  He said ok and left.

Faith, Eric and the boys had to leave to go back home, and Bob had to go back to work in another part of NC.  So John and I, and Beth, Mike, Leigh and Catie, stayed another week to help take care of her.  I'm so thankful John was able to work from there and we were able to have that extra week with her.  Jo's wonderful friend Nancy, Beth and I, took turns with the night shift, medicines, meals, changing her IV and stomach bag; and anything else she needed.  We also did a lot of juicing that week since she was on a liquid diet to give her as much nutrition as we could.  Of course, she did cheat just a little and we gave her one bite of pancake.  It really was a wonderful week.  She seemed stronger and stronger, and Hospice was impressed. 

When we left to go back home, we honestly thought we would see her again in September for the family reunion.  Hospice said they could contact people in Kentucky to help if we needed and we were all looking forward to being at the cabins together.  We said goodbye, that we loved her and would see her in September.  She told me to take care of that baby, and we walked out the door.  My last memory of her was as we were leaving, I paused at the front door cause I noticed she was singing (as she was working on the cross stitch).  I really wish I knew now what song she was singing... I think it was an old hymn.


About another week or two went by and we started getting calls from Beth.  She was going down hill and getting sick quickly.  We were hoping it was just reaction to some of the meds and that she'd be feeling better soon.  She had bounced back so many times before.


One day we were running errands and walking out of the post office when Jo called John. We went back to sit in the car.  She was crying; telling John goodbye, to not be mad at her if she couldn't hold on, and that she wished she could be here to meet Aleksa.  And that she knew Aleksa would be beautiful.  He got off the phone and we both didn't know what to think.  Was she really getting ready for the end? Or was it just a bad day? 


The next few days were really rough.  She started going in and out of consciousness and she asked Beth to leave and for us to not come down.  She said she didn't want her kids there to see her at the end.  So Bob was her only caregiver.  He gave her morphine drops since she didn't want to be on an IV, but they wore off every hour so he was up around the clock, for days.  On August 11th, Jo went home to be with our Lord.  We were upset she was gone but so relieved she was no longer in pain.  We went down to NC for her memorial, moved out of Sandie's and into our new home the following weekend, then went to Kentucky the next weekend and had another graveside service at the family reunion.  


In October, we went to the beach for the weekend for a mini babymoon, took maternity photos with our friend Lori, and continued unpacking and trying to prepare the nursery.


November was busy.  I was trying to nest, unpack, continue preparing for baby and finish up as much as I could with the business before she arrived.  My due date was December 11 so I thought I had time.  I continued to take on more families and photographed four sessions in October and five in November.  I had no idea our little girl was about to arrive early...

Granted Request

"For this child we prayed, and the Lord has granted our request", 1 Samuel 1:27

John and I were married July 17, 2010. Even during the 5 months that we dated and 5 months we were engaged (yes, when you know, you know!) we had several conversations about children. We both wanted a large family but some of the conversations were difficult since I didn't know if I could have children. I had been told by two doctors that it might be difficult because of my endometriosis. I had dealt with pain for over a decade, had surgery in 2008 and even went through 6 months of Lupron (medically induced menopause), to try to keep it at bay. After my surgery, my doctor said, "Let's put you on a 3 year medication (stick implanted in the arm). Then, hopefully in three years you'll have met your husband and we can immediately start you on infertility treatments." While that matter of fact statement about my future worried me, I tried to have faith that we serve a much bigger God who does not listen to doctors advice. I had to believe I would be a mommy someday.

So, fast forward back to the conversations with John. He was always compassionate and never seemed to doubt that we wouldn't have kids. It was more difficult for me in wondering what the future held and having thoughts of, "Should he really be marrying me?? Does he know how difficult this could be?" Neither of us knew that God would grant our request even earlier than we expected!

We were hoping to start trying to have a baby after being married for a year. In mid-March, I went to Lynchburg for the weekend (first weekend away from John). My close friend, Misty had just had her 4th baby, Emory, and I immediately went there to do a newborn photoshoot for her. I had been tracking my cycles and taking my temperature, but while I was in Lynchburg I completely forgot. When I returned home, of course I couldn't wait to see my handsome hubby again ;o) We laughed the next morning as my temperature spiked, saying, "Wouldn't it be funny if the one weekend where I forget to take my temperature, I get pregnant!" Well, God definitely has a sense of humor and that's exactly what happened! My temperatures stayed high. I really wanted to find out for sure and surprise John. On April 2nd, I went to Clyde's in Ashburn to celebrate with friends and honor Sandie, with a baby brunch for soon to arrive baby Taylor. On the way, I couldn't contain my own excitement and I stopped by a drug store to grab a test. Since I arrived at Clyde's early and we were waiting on several other ladies, I just simply couldn't wait. The test was positive and I was in shock! I returned to the table, beaming and wiping away tears, trying to contain my excitement. And of course, I ended up sitting in between Laura and Dia, both who were pregnant with sweet Savannah and Adelaide, which made it even more difficult to keep quiet.

On the way home, I talked to my Mama and it was SO HARD not to blurt out the news. For the next week, I tried to avoid talking to her much cause it was so difficult. But we were going home for my dad's birthday the following weekend so I knew we'd want to tell them in person.

Before arriving home, I stopped by a cupcake shop and asked them to write "Dad" on a cupcake. It was a little awkward explaining my idea to the teenage boy behind the counter but the girls in the back were super excited and squealed as they decorated the cupcake. The icing and the box they gave me, just happened to be pink. :o)

I got home and handed John the box and he opened it up, not saying much. He just kinda looked at the cupcake with a confused look and I said, "Do you see what it says?" And he asked if it was a leftover from Sandie's shower (which would make sense, I totally hadn't thought of that). I told him, no, that it was for him. He then got a stunned look on his face and kept saying, "Really?!? You're pregnant?!" We were both ecstatic and hugged for a long time. We went out that same day to buy pregnancy books :o)

Journal for Aleksa

I've never considered myself a great writer. In fact, I hated English class. Writing papers were like torture to me. So while this might be a struggle to keep updated, I really want to write down thoughts and events for Aleksa. For her to be able to look back one day and read her birth story, thoughts about her childhood and learn more about her Mommy and Daddy. And with the house a wreck, dishes in the sink and baby napping in the swing, I'm attempting to start a blog... what was I thinking :o)